A series of random thoughts

I tend to open my mouth before considering what the repercussions for what I am about to say. Too many times I say something or react to something with no intention of it being offensive, but entirely am. People who have known me for a long time either know that I didn't intend it offensively, or are blunt enough to be like "That is totally inconsiderate" and then I can explain it. But people who haven't picked up on my awkwarness in relaying thoughts and dont know my intentions either don't say anything but I can tell from their body language that my reputation just belly flopped, or they will try to subtly (which is never actually subtle) combat it.

It is so hard to differentiate between God's leading and one's own desires. It is also hard to distinguish between God's leading and obstacles you need to push through.

I was struck by this thought in the Gospel Primer.... The term "power of God" is reserved for salvation. In a more root term, the gospel. We perceive epic things in nature as exhibiting God's power, which they do, but even greater than that is the work God is doing in ME. More so... How awesome a God I serve who extended his powerful grace to me through the gospel.

I am not extremely talented at anything to cause people to gawk at me... None of the common things like sports, music, or art. But I was reminded by a friend that God makes every person exactly how He wants them for his purposes with his choice of talents. I think that God has given me gifts, as He gives everyone. If I consider it long enough, I supposeI have known for a long time what I am inclined towards and what areas of life I excel in... I have just always hoped I would develop some more noticeable worldly talent. I realized tonight why that is foolish: Paul had more of a right to boast than any in the Corinthian church and still chose to boast in Christ. But boasting in himself could have so easily been a temptation. I have to wonder if God knows how inclined my heart is towards pride and for that reason gave me very little to boast in by the world's standards so that I wouldn't have to overcome (or succumb) to that temptation.

The warm evenings here are making me extremely nostalgic and homesick. I long for evening spent with friends conversing while dangling our toes in a lake, laying in the grass, or sitting around a bonfire that is just getting going as the sun sets. More than anything I miss my family back home and my brothers and sisters in Christ who have been with me through thick and thin.

~Melody