I thirst to be made more thirsty still......

Oh God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirst for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Truine God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.

 ~ Chapter 6 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan. ~

   For the last couple days I have been reading the book Crazy Love. I'm a little over halfway through it, and I cannot recommend it highly enough! This book is so convicting and lays bare so many things.
   I absolutely love the prayer up above. What it says about tasting God's goodness, and longing to long for more, is just so true! I accepted Christ into my heart when I was 9, but I didn't really start to grow until I was 12. When I was 12, I started attending a new church, and I went on a week-long mission trip with my youth group. That week was amazing, and when I got back, I couldn't get enough of my bible. I loved reading it. It was all I wanted to do. Every time I climbed into my bed and looked down at my bible on my dresser, I had this excitement within me, and I would spend hours reading stories in the gospels, and they suddenly became real to me. I read through letters, and questions arose in me that even my youth leaders couldn't answer for me. I was moved when David poured out his heart to God in Psalms.
   But then, the thirst for God, and the longing to read it word dwindled. I was changed, and I knew so much more then I had before, but things slowed down. I started reading only a couple chapters a night. And I got caught up in school. Since then I have grown in my faith, but sometimes it's a burden to read my bible. Sometimes I don't talk to God throughout the day because I'm "too busy." Sometimes when I look down at my bible, a feeling of guilt washes over me because I forgot to read it the night before.
   So when I read "I long to be filled with longing," and "I thirst to be made more thirsty still," it described me perfectly. I know I have been slacking, and I know I haven't been giving God my best, and I really want to do better. I want to have that excitement of getting to know God better that I had when I was 12. I wish I still felt like shouting for joy when I read about God's love for me. I wish stories like Noah and Ruth still drew me in so that I couldn't put down my bible until I finished it.
   And I'm going to try my hardest to get back that excitement of getting to know God better.