When modesty goes too far...

   I'm guessing your first thought in response to this title was "modesty can't be taken too far." Um.... it can.
   First and foremost, guys have the responsibility to guard their eyes. Plain and simple. But as a sister in Christ, I have the responsibility to not be a stumbling block to my brothers. A lot of that is dressing modestly. The problem is that it isn't black and white.
   Most girls can just go by the standards their parents have set for them in this area. The problem is, my parent's standards are very loose. So I tried to get some guidelines. I talked to fellow sisters in Christ. But all of them had differing ideas. So I asked a few of my unbiological brothers, but they had ideas that differed to even greater extremes.
   And what about comfort? Honestly, in my house I don't even care. I'll even be blunt and say that when I am home I do dress immodestly for comfort's sake. My family doesn't care. But when I am around my guy friends I usually try to stay on the safe side even if it is more uncomfortable. Like wearing capris and a T-shirt on a hot day instead of shorts and a tank top like I would like to.
   And there is pressure. Pressure from people who say you are dressed immodestly, pressure from people who say you are dressed too modestly. Some friends tell me I worry too much about whether or not what I'm wearing is modest. One of my sisters tells me I have the body of a model and shouldn't be self-conscious about showing a little skin. My other sister tells me I should dress extremely conservatively and should try just wearing long skirts like she does. I have a couple friends who only wear T-shirts and jeans, and while they are always modest, they aren't exactly feminine. I want to please everyone but it is impossible!
   A dear friend of mine shared a couple blog links with me, written by girls who had been taught to obsess over modesty and who suffered emotionally as a result. I would share the links here but the posts are somewhat explicit. Honestly, that saddened me, because what happened was when those girls grew up, they rebelled and went to the other extreme.
   I don't obsess over it. But trying to decipher what is alright to wear and what isn't is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle that keeps gaining more and more pieces. And someone keeps coming along and undoing what you have already decided on. Maybe I do worry about it too much.....

~Melody