Debating theology etiquette

   I have mentioned before that debating theology with adults is not on my list of favorite things to do. Why? Because they always see me as an adolescent who has been mislead by a belief that is contrary to their own. They don't give me the common curtsies they give other adults. Which got me thinking... What are the etiquette guidelines of debating theology?


The desire to debate is mutual
   In my mind a debate should start with the mutual understanding that you and the person you are about to converse with, wants to debate the subject. I have a friend whose mother just loves to spark fiery debates at any time of day with anyone. And if you are the person, you're trapped... You really can't get out of it, even if you just stand there and say "mhmm" for an hour.


Willingness to look at something differently
   I'm going to state this plain and simple: If you are not interested in listening to the other person explain their view, don't start a debate with them. It's just down right rude. And if you start a debate and then find that you're not interested, find a way to quickly, politely, end it. Or else act like you're interested by being polite and giving them your attention and not interrupting.
   When I begin a debate, I always feel like there is an unspoken, mutual understanding that each person will try to see the other person's viewpoint the same way that person sees it. It's like if there are two windows in a house and they both look out on the same field, and you normally look out one window, and the other person normally looks out the other. But for this moment, you exchange windows. And then after the debate, even if you continue to go back to the window you've always looked out of, you are aware that there is another window. And occasionally you might walk over there and glance out of it.

Politeness
   I feel like this one should be a given, but some people think what they have to say is so important that they should interrupt you to say it. This isn't a problem over an email or instant message debate, but in person, it drives me insane. If I am being silent and carefully considering what the other person is saying whilst they are talking, I need them to respect me enough to do the same. Even if they are an adult and I am a teenager. When someone interrupts me, it tells me that they really aren't listening to me at all. And when they talk non-stop for five minutes to purposely not allow me to say what I have to say because what they have to say is "oh so much more important".... It upsets me a teansy bit.

Respecting the other person's right to a differing opinion
   People are allowed to believe differently on minor doctrines. Accept that. A debate usually turns not-so-friendly when one person has the sole purpose of converting the other person to his/her belief. Minor doctrines aren't worth losing friendships over. You are siblings in Christ having a friendly discussion. Not two nations at war. It is perfectly alright to spend 15 minutes enlightening each other of your views, and then say "to each his own" and walk away with the knowledge of a different interpretation of a specific verse.

I'll probably think of more later and add on to this post. Do you have any to add?

~Melody